Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
