so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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