he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
