you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
is wine microwaveable?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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