Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I puked a lego.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
