Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize