My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
