I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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