I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
