I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
