why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
