I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
