I wish I could punch you in the face.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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