you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
