quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize