This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
