Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
