I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
