i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
