You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
