I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
