i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize