im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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