whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
