If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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