Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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