this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
