I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
