hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just had sex on a roof
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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