dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize