he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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