Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
