Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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