Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
