what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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