my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Buhtt sex?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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