i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
