My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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