i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
