I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
