What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize