Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
