The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
