A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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