Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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