You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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