he thought i was a dude.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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