Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
