I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
