I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize