WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
