this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
