Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
