OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
