She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
