i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
just found out that she named her cat after me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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