id be glad to
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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