He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
