We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
