new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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