I wish I could punch you in the face.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
