where am i from again
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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