here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
